Blame the world, for entangling me with too many things, too many troubles, too many drama, too many tutorials to catch up....
Desperation would be the correct word that describe me now, at this very moment
Just finish playing soccer with that awesome bunch of people from hostel, soaked with sweat, exhaled liters of air , yet still feel like there is still something inside me that is being kept, waiting to be ignited, exploded.
Feeling worthless, incompetent, hopeless and stupid
Literally
I knew that I would be in deep shit, but this is too much to handle
Staying up till 1 every night doing nothing but strumming meaningless chords on my guitar, dreaming and wasting time. A perfect excuse for not doing work: improving guitar skill. But it is just an excuse after all
Sleeping in lecture the next day and getting carried away with that flow of losing direction
Staring at schoolwork as if these things fell from the sky. No clue, nothing at all
Craving for redemption but stuck in the midst of commitments, in the end going back to step 1 of the cycle
Making new friends but losing old ones at the same time, who matter much more than those that just appeared in my life
Getting confused by someone
Pressurized by the whole world
How long more can that smile stay on my face?
Please
Let me be free
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