Freddy - my favorite creature

This office I'm sitting in is just dead. People move their hand routinely, talk in the same monotonous tone, answer phone calls with that same ridiculous phrase every now and then. 2 days through internship and the idea of being a zoo keeper now seems possible for me as I cannot stand 10hrs per day confined by walls. I would either escape or commit suicide if I were to be jailed. 

Anyway, the topic today is not about this boring office. It is about the one element that differentiate my room from all these "exorbitantly monotonous" places ( or fking boring in my language). 

It is about the light that shines upon our dark room that lies at the corner of the corridor.

It is about the mere source of entertainment that we ( i + roomates) have in the past 1 year

It is actually about the best source of entertainment

It is about one creature that can do the trademark hand trick that no other human being ( in my hostel) can do

It is about one creature that can bring us so much laughter, so much that I think the only that  man can surpass his talent is Russell Peter. 

It is about Freddy

So what is Freddy?

Physically Freddy looks like combination of all these animals

Mentally Freddy possesses the most unique brain on earth. Freddy would just do the exact opposite things that human do. He ( btw Freddy is a male) eat when people dont eat, sleep when people are awake and stay up when people are already in their dreams. Scientifically, we should classify this species under nocturnal creature. Freddy possesses information through a reversed way. He fills his brain with useless stuff and yet leave what is necessary outside of his brain. I know all school stuff but Freddy would be the first one to know stuffs like human species has succeeded in advancing their stimulated sexual experience through 3 dimensional pornography.

Freddy does think critically and that s why he got into this critical thinking class conducted by an Indian Master Guru who believes that any species can think. An apprentice of this Guru whose origin is from the far far  mysterious land called Vietnam was assigned to tame Freddy, and teach him critical thinking. Their aim is to make Freddy evolve into a higher order, mysteriously powerful creature in which the Indian Guru saw in India .Master Guru says it possesses great brain power that surpasses human's, plus a hazardous gaze from its eyeballs and Indian myths recognize it as Mohan.

Although Freddy has hitherto remained Freddy-like and at nowhere Mohan-like, the gurus still hope one day he would evolve.

Freddy is an earth-friendly species, not harmful to the environment like those stupid cows. All he eats is junk food, which further proves my point of being earth-friendly. With less junk food left on earth, there would be less number of people turning fat, and that is all thanks to Freddy's appetizer. Logic right?Stories from the Indian Guru taught me to think logically... Morever, Freddy has an amazing ability to control his own body mass, just as how geckos can adapt to the environment's colours. He can decrease his body mass so fast that no other creatures with the most advanced abilities can. Give him an apple per day and he can lose 10kg in 2 weeks. Amazing right? For more amazing facts you can search on animalplanet.com

Although Freddy is not Mohan-like, but Freddy-like is already a very advanced state in the evolution tree. Apart from the body mass controlling ability i have stated above, Freddy possesses two more abilities

Firstly, he can survive alone. In zoology we call it solitary species. In today's world, with more and more deforestation and destruction of environment, the life of those species that live in hordes is being endangered. Smaller habitats cannot accommodate hordes anymore. Species must evolve and learn how to survive independently. And yes, freddy has already been one step faster than nature by possessing that skill

Freddy can eat alone, walk alone, observe alone ( aka watching movies), and it once sneaked out to Mc donald alone... This phenomenon is amazing as scientists have yet to prove how freddy became so advanced compared to other species

Secondly freddy can do his trademark handshake. I have a record of this ability which i have already submitted to discovery channel for a documentation. You may watch it on youtube soon. This ability involves extreme control of hand wrist as well as flexibility. Freddy's middle finger can easily touch both front and back sides of his hand. Normal human can only bend down to 60 degrees at most. Scientists have yet to fully understand the use of this ability but for such a fascinating ability, there must be a reason why it is there. Theories through real life documentation has only proposed the use for mating, as some witnesses saw Freddy trying to mate around with females from other species by showing his handshake. Poor Freddy, he is too smart and this make him realise the possibility of extinction that his species faces. Sometimes ignorance is bliss

However, despite all these abilities, there are still some parts of freddy that hinders him from becoming Mohanised. 

Freddy cannot smile. Being emotionally challenged, Freddy is unable to demonstrate his happiness by flexing his levator anguli oris to make him smile. This significantly decreases Freddy's chance of mating compared to other species such as Louisis or Raydomungus. Hope that by time, God would realise this flaw in Freddy and ask revolution to add a smile on his face. Meantime, all he can do is bringing smiles and laughters to others. 

Apart from being emotionally challenged, Freddy is aesthetically challenge. It's not about being pretty or not, as Freddy's appearance is comparably better than most of the lower species such as Dizonika or Chinamania.

It s just Freddy is musically challenged. Freddy cannot produce a C sound. Its such a pity to watch Raydomungus, the advanced creature in singing trying to teach Freddy how to sing a C note. Freddy was called for sound tests twice but lost to most of other species. 

But overall, Freddy is still a wonderful creation of God. Freddy brings laughter, fun and all memories that I would never forget. I don't want Freddy to evolve because if every species in this world is Mohanised, I would dig myself a grave and jump down. 

So ya, i have just decided to give further covers about Louisis, Raydomungus, Ducita and i promise more stuffs about Chinamania

Stay tuned

:)

cannot smile.....